Top Ten Things Not To Do If You Want To Impress A New Gaming Group

10. Immediately try to shock the group by proclaiming you are a bisexual Wiccan into bondage. We're gamers - we're not so easily shocked, and quite frankly, you can't swing a dead cat at a convention without hitting at least one bisexual bondage Wiccan.

9. Proclaim that, while the current campaign is good and all, everyone should let you run a game. You really shouldn't do that on your first game with the group.

8. Bring your non-gaming easily bored significant other to the game.

7. Bring your non-gaming easily bored kids to the game.

6. Wear a costume. It's an RPG, not a LARP, and quite frankly you don't look that much like a Klingon to begin with.

5. Reality test the more disturbing parts of the game.

4. Build a character with 500 extra points that you hope the GM won't notice. We're not all math geniuses, but I'm pretty sure that all of us can add.

3. Sulk, pout, or otherwise fidget during the five minutes somebody else's character gets to do something.

2. Eat cake frosting straight from a can with your fingers. It's disgusting to watch and you get icing all over the dice.

And, The Number One Thing Not To Do If You Want To Impress A New Gaming Group...

1. Forget to bathe.

Original text copyright © 2001 by Thom Marrion. All rights reserved. Reprinted here with permission of the author.
This web page copyright 2001 by Midori Hirtzel-Church
Uploaded to Black Unicorn Wood - March 2, 2006
Last updated - March 2, 2006

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